Gideon

When I think of the things that my family has been through in the last year I can see how easy it would have been to just give up.  How easy it would have been to turn my back on the Lord.  To just stop trying. 

I am not going to lie and say there were not hours, days and even weeks that I thought that I would just give up.  There were days I could not get out of bed as I was paralyzed with sadness.  I remember one particular day I was laying on my couch sobbing.  I began to breath really heavy and fast.  The next thing I know I was waking up.  I had been sleeping for over 2 hours.  I believe I passed out from the intense crying. I was emotionally and physically drained.  I decided early on in my trials that I would give my self a deadline to grieve.  On that day I turned my trials and pain over to God.  People who know my in real life often ask me how I am handling myself so well and I can honestly say if not for the Lord I would not be doing as well as I am.  

The last 4 weeks I have been going to a Bible study with two of my dearest friends Julie and Sarah.  Between the 3 of us we have 12 children, we all homeschool and we are all stay at home moms.  When Julie mentioned the Bible study was on Gideon I was not sure.  I like bible studies that are girlie.  Bible studies by great women like Beth Moore and Lysa Terkeurst.  This study on Gideon by Priscilla Shirer did not seem like my cup of tea.  But, I wanted to go with my girls.  So, I  bought the book and showed up.  This Bible study is AMAZING! I can not even begin to tell you everything I have learned from Priscilla.  I LOVE doing the homework.  I love pulling out my Bible and my Ipad and searching the scripture.  It is so filling.  Please click the links above and listen to some of the video clips.  Even they will bless you. 

There are a few things I have been praying on and trying to apply to my life this week is...

There is beauty in the "normal".  I often times get caught up in the "normal" of my life.  The mundane things like laundry, dishes, cleaning, driving kids all around, homeschooling etc...  I get bored and I just mechanically go through the paces everyday.  Like clock work, I get up and make breakfast, get the girls to school, start the boys on their school, start a load of laundry, clean the breakfast dishes....  I do it because I have to, because these things need done.  There is no joy, no thankfulness.  What does that teach my children?  The last few weeks I have been taking joy in these everyday tasks.  I often text Julie or Lisa or Sarah as I am washing dishes or homeschooling something like "I am so blessed I CAN homeschool" or "I am so thankful I CAN wash dishes today".  As I go about these mundane tasks, the normal things I do everyday, day in and day out, I thank God, I "get to do" them.  I am thankful I can turn on my sink and water comes out so we can drink or clean.  I am thankful I have a washing machine a few feet from my kitchen where I can wash my clothes.  I am thankful I can go to the store and buy the groceries I need to cook meals for my family.  I am finally seeing the beauty in the normal.

God doesn't call us to do hard things.  He calls us to impossible things.  I know this so well in my current situation.  I never thought I would be a single mom.  I never thought I would be divorced.  I didn't think I could do many of the things I am doing now.  BUT I AM! He is not calling me to do hard things.  He is calling me to do things that in my previous life I thought were impossible.  Thankfully he is not calling me to do them alone.  He has surrounded me with the most amazing support system of friends and family.  Not only has he surrounded me with friends and family he has made his presence known.  ">I am not alone!  He is with me.  He is patient.  He is my comfort.  For that I am most thankful.  I am so excited to see what this week has in store for me.