Saturday, January 24, 2009

Why do they have to grow up?

Chad and I had an entire evening and night alone. No kids!!! The girls went to my moms for the night and Chad's parents have the boys. We will not have them until sometime tomorrow. I MISS THEM! The girls started calling about 15 minutes after we left them, so I think the feeling is mutual. The boys on the other hand.... well, at grandma Linda's the boys have a 12 year old cousin, video games and a new puppy. I had to call them!

Chad and I went to dinner tonight all by ourselves. We got seated right next to a table with two young couples and their sweet little babies. They were not as cute as my babies (I may be a little biased), but I could not stop looking at them. That is when it hit me HARD! I do not have any babies left. I have 3 school ager's and a pre-schooler. I almost cried in the Mexican restaurant. I do not know how it happened. One day I was the proud mother of little tiny, adorable, sweet smelling little kids. Now they are practically grown. Leanne will be leaving for college in the blink of an eye and THERE IS NO WAY FOR ME TO STOP IT. I want them little again! I want them little forever! I want them to need me to fill sippy cups of milk and tie shoes. Is there some way to get that back? I tell the kids all of the time "if I had a magic wand I would keep you like this forever". But time just keeps moving.

Honestly I do not know where the time has gone. It seems like my days go by faster and faster turning from days to weeks to months and then years. It will be six years ago next month that Chad and I walked into that office and brought our children home. I knew the moment I saw them all standing there with all the possessions they had in trash bags, that they were my children forever. I knew looking into those sad little faces that I needed them and they needed me. For months after that life was hard. It was not like those silly Hallmark movies I used to watch. Having kids was not all picnics in the park and trips to the zoo. It was stinky diapers, temper tantrums and mounds of laundry. But, this momma would do it all again if I could have them little for just one more day.

Since I can not turn back the clock, I guess I will have to find a way to get passed this. I have been assured by friends who have older children that I will come to a point in my life where I enjoy them being independent. I am not sure this will ever be true for me. I guess I will just have to keep trying to talk Chad into adopting a baby from China or Vietnam or Africa....:) That should help! Right?

This is one of my favorite pictures of Justin and Katie. Only kids can get away with such fashion. Yes, my son was wearing a coon skin cap and Katie boots with shorts, in public. They are only young once!

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